Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Boys and Puppy Dogs

I was going through the photo albums from last year at work today and *BAM* there was a picture of an ex-boyfriend. Shouldn't have been a big deal--I haven't even seen him in MONTHS, but it surprised me. And what a great picture! He was standing there in his ambulance, surrounded by kids. He looked oh so happy, so much happier than he ever did in pictures with me. And how telling, how wonderful! He now can be that, can be just happy all the time. I haven't seen any pictures of him lately, but I like to imagine him happy in them, just like I see happiness in my pictures lately.

It is hard to acknowledge that you made someone you love miserable. And really hard to understand, even hard for me to understand as a member of the miserable relationship.

But it's good to have gone through it all. It is good to live through anything, and to be continually growing.

I, too, will be very happy with someone else someday.

But for now, I am very happy with my beautiful dog. She keeps me going. She comforts me. She challenges me to get out of bed every day. And coincidently, she was a gift from the man in the picture. BUT beyond that, she is MINE. She sits on my feet when my friends visit. She lays beside me, curved into me, on the outside so that she can look out the window to protect me. She tears up my junk mail and bad pictures and things that I hate. (She tears up things that I like, too, but oh well.) She jumps up beside me when I come home and rubs her nose all over me until I pet her and nuzzle her back. I've always been a cat person until I got this dog. She truly is the love of my life, and I don't feel any negative feelings at all saying that. She's saved my life. (But that's a story for another day.)

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